Chuck Norris Jokes

Jeg synes at de forskellige Chuck Norris jokes som findes rundt omkring på nettet, er uhyre sjove. Derfor vil jeg samle lidt af de sjoveste her.

Here goes :


Guns don't kill people - Chuck Norris kills people.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures that Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris don't sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and kill.

The leading causes of death in the U.S are: 1) Heart Disease, 2) Chuck Norris, 3) Chancer.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.


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Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"