Mini-LAN @ Bada's

Det har været en lang og hård weekend. Lad os tage den helt fra starten:

Torsdag er jeg clutch og får byttet min weekend-vagt væk, og så står den naturligvis på druk. Jeg snakker med min partner in crime, BoomBoom, og han er selvsagt klar. Vi har længe snakket om at holde et LAN oppe hos mig for nogle af XBL-gutterne, men en én-dages varsel er måske lige kort nok. Vi får i stedet fat i Riddick (BoomBoom går ballalaika på hans Facebook-væg) og Riddick er klar på gaming+øller i Aalborg. BoomBoom og jeg har været venner i 100 år, men vi har kun kendt Riddick fra XBL, og BoomBoom så meget frem til at give Riddick et velfortjent real-life teabag for at være langsom med sine rez'es i Shadowrun.

Anyways, BoomBoom henter Riddick i Aarhus og de kører til Aalborg med alt deres lort (Xbox, TV, tasker og Riddick's makeup). Jeg bor inde midt i byen og det er umuligt at finde en parkeringsplads herinde, så BoomBoom parkerer fucking langt væk. Jeg havde lovet at give dem en hånd med at bære deres lort med op fra bilen, men da han ringede "overhørte" jeg telefonen 2 gange. Ca 30 minutter senere, så kan jeg høre dem på trappen med ALT deres lort (jeg bor selvfølgelig på fjerde sal, uden elevator) og de er ikke helt tilfredse med at jeg brændte dem af. Så var stilen for weekenden ligesom lagt :D

Vi får sat vores sindssyge setup op i min stue og vi banker folk til højre og venstre i Shadowrun privates. Det er for FEDT at sidde i samme rum og uddele en god gammeldags gang røvfuld. Vores post-game smacktalk bliver kun sjovere som vi får flere og flere kolde Carlsberg. Vi når til punktet for vores modstandere har fået nok af at få bank og høre på vores lort, og vi sætter kursen mod bylivet i 9000. Riddick har ikke en chance i Snyd/Tænkeboks på Irish House, så det bliver hurtigt kedeligt og vi rykker videre til Gøglerbåden.

Riddick har aldrig været på et kombineret bodega og luderbar, men han føler sig straks hjemme da han er omringet af barmfagre, sorte kvinder. Uden at sige for meget, så blev hans svaghed for det sorte køn en bekostelig affære... Riddick får gjort sig færdig, og vi ryger videre på en good ol' tur herretur i Gaden.

Lørdag bliver nydt med en gang SR, lidt H3 og de får bank i UT3. Op af aftenen, er vi er på en kina restaurent hvor BoomBoom og jeg går amok i stærk mad. Riddick fik halsbrænd af en Viva Pinata burger fra Burger King dagen før, så han nøjes med en gang fiskefillet og pomfritter (ah ok, han fik vist bare noget reje-værk med ris uden chili). Tømmermændene bliver skyllet ned med en gang iskold 7Up, som lige sætter gang i systemet igen.

Vi vender hjem til hulen igen og gamer noget mere SR. Vi er urørelige på på Lobby Small 3v3 og folk begynder at kalde det snyd at vi er på samme hold, selv da vi spiller 4v4 med en random, så hyler folk over at de ikke har en chance. Den står igen på øller.

Alt i alt var det en bragende success, og der er ingen tvivl om at det skal gentages. Riddick har også en date på Gøgleren, der skal følges op på.

GG motha'fuckas.

Du er IKKE inviteret til min fest!

Det er en længere smøre, men samtidig en klasse lektion i hvordan man er en nar :D


Matthew
Apartment 3A

A few weeks ago, a guy moved into the apartment across from me. I know little about him apart from the fact that he owns cane furniture as I saw the delivery guys carry it up. I bumped into him on the stairs once and he said hello but I cannot be friends with someone that owns cane furniture so I pretended I had a turtle to feed or something.

Last week when I checked my mailbox, I found that my new neighbor had left me a note stating that he was having a party and to let him know if the noise was too loud.

The problem I have with the note is not that he was having a party and didn't invite me, it was that he selected a vibrant background of balloons, effectively stating that his party was going to be vibrant and possibly have balloons and that I couldn't come.

If I was writing a note to my neighbors saying that I was going to have a party but none of them could come, I would not add photos of ecstasy tablets, beer and gratuitous shots of Lucius going down on men to show them what they are missing out on, I would make it clean and simple, possibly even sombre, so they didn't think 'you prick'.




From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 8 Dec 2008 11.04am
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: R.S.V.P.

Dear Matthew,
Thankyou for the party invite. At first glance I thought it may be a child's party what with it being vibrant and having balloons but I realise you probably did your best with what little tools were available. I wouldn't miss it for the world. What time would you like me there?

Regards, David.



From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Monday 8 Dec 2008 3.48pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: R.S.V.P.

Hi David
Sorry the note was just to let you know that we might be a bit loud that night. The house warming is really just for friends and family but you can drop past for a beer sometime if you like.
Cheers Matthew



From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 8 Dec 2008 5.41pm
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.

Thanks Matthew,
Including me in your list of friends and family means a lot. You and I don't tend to have long discussions when we meet in the hallway and I plan to put a stop to that. Next time we bump into each other I intend to have a very long conversation with you and I am sure you are looking forward to that as much as I am. I have told my friend Ross that you are having a party and he is as excited as I am. Do you want us to bring anything or will everything be provided?

Regards, David.



From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Tuesday 9 Dec 2008 10.01am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.

Hi David
As I said, my housewarming is just for friends and family. There is not a lot of room so cant really have to many people come. Sorry about that mate.
Cheers Matthew



From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 9 Dec 2008 2.36pm
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.

Dear Matthew,
I can appreciate that, our apartments are not very large are they? I myself like to go for a jog every night to keep fit but fear leaving the house so I have to jog on the spot taking very small steps with my arms straight down. I understand the problems of space restrictions all too well. If you would like to store some of your furniture at my place during the party you are quite welcome to - if we move your cane furniture into my spare room for the night and scatter cushions on the ground, that would provide a lot more seating and create a cozy atmosphere at the same time. I have a mirror ball that you can borrow. I have told Ross not to invite anyone else due to the space constraints so it will just be us two and my other friend Simon. When I told Simon that Ross and I were going to a party he became quite angry that I had not invited him as well so I really didn't have any choice as he can become quite violent. Sometimes I am afraid to even be in the same room as him. So just myself Ross and Simon. Simon's girlfriend has a work function on that night but might come along after that if she can get a lift with friends.

Regards, David.



From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Tuesday 9 Dec 2008 4.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.

Wtf? Nobody can come to the houswarming party it is just for friends and family. I dont even know these people. How do you know I have cane furniture? Are you the guy in apartment 1?



From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 9 Dec 2008 6.12pm
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.

Hi Matthew,
I understand it is an exclusive party and I appreciate you trusting my judgement on who to bring. I just assumed you have cane furniture, doesn't everybody? Cane is possibly one of the most renewable natural resources we have after plastic, it is not only strong but lightweight and attractive. Every item in my apartment is made of cane, including my television. It looks like the one from Gilligan's Island but is in colour of course. Do you remember that episode where a robot came to the island? That was the best one in my opinion. I always preferred Mary Anne to Ginger, same with Flintstones - I found Betty much more attractive than Wilma but then I am not really keen on redheads at all. They have freckles all over their body did you know? It's the ones on their back and shoulders that creep me out the most.

Anyway, Ross rang me today all excited about the party and asked me what the theme is, I told him that I don't think there is a theme and we discussed it and feel that it should be an eighties themed party. I have a white suit and projector and am coming as Nik Kershaw. I have made a looping tape of 'wouldn't it be good' to play as I am sure you will agree that this song rocks and has stood the test of time well. I am in the process of redesigning your invites appropriately and will get a few hundred of them printed off later today. I will have to ask you for the money for this as print cartridges for my Epson are pretty expensive. They stopped making this model a month after I bought it and I have to get the cartridges sent from China. Around $120 should cover it. You can just pop the money in my letter box if I don't see you before tonight.

Regards, David.



From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Wednesday 10 Dec 2008 11.06pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.

What the fuck are yout alking about? There is no theme for the party it is just a few friends and family. noone else can come IT IS ONLY FOR MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY do you understand? Do not print anything out because I am not paying for something I dont need and didnt ask you to do! look I am sorry but i am heaps busy and that night is not convenient. Are you in Apatrment1?



From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 11 Dec 2008 9.15am
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.

Hello Matthew,
I agree that it is not very convenient and must admit that when I first received your invitation I was perplexed that it was on a Sunday night but who am I to judge. No, I am in apartment 3B. Our bedroom walls are touching so when we are sleeping our heads are only a few feet apart. If I put my ear to the wall I can hear you. I also agree with you that having a particular theme for your party may not be the best choice, it makes more sense to leave it open as a generic fancy dress party, that way everyone can come dressed in whatever they want. Once, I went to a party in a bear outfit which worked out well as it was freezing and I was the only one warm. As it won't be cold the night of your party, I have decided to come as a Ninja. I think it would be really good if you dressed as a ninja as well and we could perform a martial arts display for the other guests. I have real swords and will bring them. If you need help with your costume let me know, I have made mine by wrapping a black t-shirt around my face with a hooded jacket and cut finger holes in black socks for the gloves. I do not have any black pants so will spray paint my legs on the night.

It is a little hard to breath in the costume so I will need you to keep the window open during the party to provide good air circulation. Actually, I just had a thought, how awesome would it be if I arrived 'through' the window like a real ninja. We should definitely do that. I just measured the distance between our balconies and I should be able to jump it. I once leaped across a creek that was over five metres wide and almost made it.

Also, you mentioned in your invitation that if there was anything I needed, to let you know. My car is going in for a service next week and I was wondering, seeing as we are good friends now, if it would be ok to borrow yours on that day. I hate catching the bus as they are full of poor people who don't own cars.

Regards, David.



From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Thursday 11 Dec 2008 3.02pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.

WTF? No you cant borrow my car and there is no fucking 3B. I reckon you are that guy from Apartment 1. You are not coming to my house warming and you are not bringing any of your friends. What the fuck is wrong with you??? The only people invited are friends and family I told you that. It is just drinks there is no fucking fancy dress and only people i know are coming! I dont want to be rude but jesus fucking christ man.



From: David Thorne
Date: Sunday 14 Dec 2008 2.04am
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Party

Hello Matthew,
I have been away since Thursday so have not been able to check my email from home. Flying back late today in time for the party and just wanted to say that we are really looking forward to it. Will probably get there around eleven or twelve, just when it starts to liven up. Simon's girlfriend Cathy's work function was cancelled so she can make it afterall which is good news. She will probably have a few friends with her so they will take the mini van. Also, I have arranged a Piñata.

Can't wait, see you tonight.

Regards, David.

__________________________

http://www.27bslash6.com.nyud.net/matthewsparty.html

FPS nørd

Det er vist ingen hemmelighed at jeg er en ægte FPS nørd. -og når man er en rigtig nørd, så har man et super nørdet setup derhjemme. Jeg er ingen undtagelse.

Jeg har længe spillet på et ældre 42" plasma TV i stuen og det har været OK. Der var dog mange situationer, hvor jeg kunne mærke at der var noget galt. Specielt omkring snipes eller hvor der skete meget på skærmen havde jeg store problemer, og gik fx ALTID minus hvis vi fx rendte ind i en Team Snipers i Halo 3. Jeg mener selv at mit aim er lige i skabet og efter at have læst en del på nettet, så kom jeg frem til at det selvfølgelig ikke var mangel på skill der var skyld i at jeg fejlede, men derimod at jeg simpelthen spillede på et lorte TV med masser af input lag.

Da jeg ved ca ingenting om skærme og hvad der er godt, begyndte jeg at læse diverse sider på nettet, og sprurgte også et sæt TV nørder til råds, før jeg bestemte mig for hvilken skærm jeg skulle have. Jeg endte med intet mindre end et pragteksemplar af en Samsung T220 der er perfekt til gaming:



Skærmen er selvfølgelig tilsluttet via et VGA kabel fra Box'en, da dette skulle eliminere input lag og lyden får jeg igennem mit sorround headset. Skærmen ikke bare ser sexet ud, men den performer også ud over alle grænser. Det fede ved skærmen er også at nu kan jeg have den rigtige "FPS-siddestilling" når jeg gamer (den hvor man sidder let foroverbøjet og albuerne hviler på knæerne).

Da jeg havde sat skærmen op og havde valgt den rigtige opløsning, hoppede jeg på en gang Team Doubles i Halo 3 med Reptile. Det var Ball på Guardian, som ikke ligefrem er vores bedste gamemode. Vi spawner Elbow og jeg løber ned og henter snipe og går op på Top Snipe for at holde øje med ball/Gold. De to modstandere kommer rendende oppe fra Blue ned mod ball (jeg aner ikke hvorfor at de har valgt denne rute, men de var tydeligvis noobs). Her kvitterer jeg med at affyre to kugler og nupper to headshots. Jeg er selv MEGET overrasket over at jeg kunne ramme bare én af dem og at det endda var et headshot. Jeg kan ihvertfald ikke huske hvornår jeg sidst har lavet et double headshot kill i en gang doubles (læs: det er aldrig sket, selvom at jeg har prøvet masser af gange). Vi spiller nogle flere kampe og jeg begynder for første gang at føle at sniperen faktisk virker! -og jeg har spillet over 500 kampe i H3.. Der bliver hevet de vildeste quick-scopes og no-scopes op af posen. Toppen af krænsekagen er da vi er et party på fire danskere der spiller The Pit: De andre beder MIG om at hente sniperen!?! Det ville ALDRIG være sket på det gamle TV, og der var endda situationer hvor jeg ikke engang gad samle sniperen op...

Efterfølgende har jeg snakket meget om min skærm på Live og der er lidt den der stemning; "Jaja, hvor godt kan det TV lige være..?!". Men i weekenden var BoomBoom forbi og få en øller og se vidunderet. Han var mildest talt imponeret.

For at gøre en lang historie kort, vælger jeg at beskrive hans mening om TV'et med hans egne ord.

"Headshot!" råbes en del gange.

"Nu gør det sgu ikke noget at jeg taber tid dig, når vi spiller mod hinanden. Det er jo helt åndssvagt så godt det her funker!"

"Jeg voldtager dig i nat og stjæler dit TV. Og så er det sagt".

Smuk og rammende poesi fra XBLs største filosof.

Så hvis du står og mangler en ny skærm til kontoret, så har jeg ikke andet end roser til T220 modellen. Nu skal jeg så bare lige overveje at begynde at lave kontoret; men skærmen er vel også en begyndelse :P

/Bada is out.